THEY HAD NO INDIAN RESERVATIONS

We at Capitol Shleps are impressed by Jack Abramoff’s recent tour to talk about the down side of bribery. For those of you who can’t remember when, he served 3.5 years for basically taking bribes from folks who wanted to stop other people from opening casinos and then from the very same folks who wanted to open new casinos. Nice work if you can get it
but he couldn’t for very long. Interestingly his new tour is called Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington. We at Capitol Shleps always appreciate Capitol Punishment so we are bringing up a song from the past as an ode to Jack Abramoff and thank you Paul Revere and the Raiders.

Indian Reservation
(Performed by Paul Revere and The Raiders)

They took the whole Cherokee Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
The tomahawk and the bow and knife
They took away our native tongue
And taught their English to our young
And all the beads we made by hand
Are nowadays made in Japan
Cherokee people, Cherokee tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE

Oh, if I had a "Hammer", oh that Tom Delay, he and Jew Abramoff, I mean
Jack Abramoff are going to drive me to drink. Hey, I admire the Jew's premise; tricking lndian tribes into giving them over 80 million dollars to "help" them get casinos but then don't go and call them "idiots" and "monkeys", at least not on email. And it's ok for Tommy D. to get comp trips to Scotland et al but not from Abramoff with his casino coin, not while we're selling this faith based bit to the public.
Unless, wait, we combine religion and gambling. Hey, we've used gay marriage
(which the bible doesn't mention), ignored helping the poor (which the bible
mentions, well, only 3,000 times or so), but the ultimate coup de deus would be a divine prayer - sin-synergy; casinos for Christ, blackjack with bibles. We could call it the First Church of Native Nativity; sin, pay and pray, we'll wampum the Dems with these bottom lines. And the people, they'll buy it; look what they've bought so far. And . . . . if they criticize our working with the lnjuns, we'll just call them bigots like we did with Condi and Alberto and that porn- again guy himself, Justice Clarence. (l'm so funny, heh heh).
Karl dozes and (as he has times before) dreams along with the radio.

(TO THE TUNE OF "INDIAN RESERVATION")

We'll use the whole lndian nation
Make them a gambling reservation
We'll rearrange their way of life
The donor bribes, The double life
We'll dupe their greedy naive young
And speak with forked religious tongue
We'll broker buyers of their land
We'll bring in China and Japan
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
Once we've reworked the lndian nation
As a gambling Jesus reservation
They'll play the role in shirt and tie
Mime any prayer, any lie
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
But there are some things none may learn
Whats hidden from our tax returns . . tax returns . . tax returns