Send In The Clowns
By Stephen Sondheim

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.

From the Diary of Brian Williams
God, this Republican crew; I know I’m supposed to be even handed and not be the opposite to Fox News, but how do you take these guys with a straight face. Romney can’t figure out if he’s rich with a quarter of a billion dollars. Newt Gingrich is a family value guy with his devoted catholic wife who cheated with him for six years. Ron Paul is there with his message and crazy base. Santorum is gaining round. Everybody says he’s sincere, but sincere about what? I mean, someone should put a tent over this circus. My wife says I use the phrase “you can’t make this up” too much so let me make up a new one “can anyone be this crazy without a tutor”?

Brian drifts off and dreams to the tune of Send In The Clouds…


Mitt’s not sure he’s rich
Newt dumped a pair
Santorum’s gaining much ground
Ron Paul’s still there
They blend in as clowns

Can you believe this?
Who could approve
They keep standing on old ground
Stuff no one can prove
So here are the clowns
They blend in as clowns

Ain’t this some farce
They work on fear
You must want what they want
Or hear their jeers
Here are our clowns
The GOP clowns
The danger is near

They’re all for the rich
They’ll use the queers
But with so many strange debates
There’s only more fears
So do fear the clowns
Beware of the clowns
They’re already here

IT'S HIS TAX SCAM

Taxman (by George Harrison)

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five percent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet

Taxman!

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Don't ask me what I want it for
(Ah, ah, Mr. Wilson)
If you don't want to pay some more
(Ah, ah, Mr. Heath)
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advise for those who die
(Taxman!)
Declare the pennies on your eyes
(Taxman!)

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one, but me
(Taxman!)


From the Diary of Mitt Romney

Bain was the bane of my existence, and now as I’ve dealt with that suddenly they’re all up in arms over my tax returns. I’m going to give them one full year, not a partial year, a full year, which is within 11 of what my Dad gave. He was wrong…you don’t give people information – they won’t think the worst. I don’t know if I’m rich? They tell me I made over $40 mill in 2010. Is that technically rich? I paid almost 15% taxes and the great news is under the plans of Newt Gingrich in which there’d be zero capital gains, I’d pay no taxes. Should I vote for Newt??
I love this old Beatle’s stuff. See how cool I am.

Mitt fades off in the background – drifts asleep

Let me tell how it will be
More paid by you, 14 by me
It’s my tax scam, ya ya it’s my tax scam
Should 14 appear to small
Be thankful that I pay at all
Cause it’s my tax scam ya-ya, it’s my tax scam

I have gone so far
Any tax I’ll beat
Mitt takes care of Mitt
Life is such a treat
If you’re poor and old
Just turn down the heat
If you balk and squawk
I’m the one to beat

‘Cause it’s my tax scam – yah, yah
It’s my tax scam.

Don’t dare suggest that I should pay more
Thats class warfare by the working poor
My advice is for when you die
You get all blind trusts and dont blink an eye

‘Cause it’s my tax scam – yah, yah
It’s my tax scam.

And it’s for the 1% just like me
I’ve got off shore stuff from sea to sea

THEY HAD NO INDIAN RESERVATIONS

We at Capitol Shleps are impressed by Jack Abramoff’s recent tour to talk about the down side of bribery. For those of you who can’t remember when, he served 3.5 years for basically taking bribes from folks who wanted to stop other people from opening casinos and then from the very same folks who wanted to open new casinos. Nice work if you can get it
but he couldn’t for very long. Interestingly his new tour is called Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington. We at Capitol Shleps always appreciate Capitol Punishment so we are bringing up a song from the past as an ode to Jack Abramoff and thank you Paul Revere and the Raiders.

Indian Reservation
(Performed by Paul Revere and The Raiders)

They took the whole Cherokee Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
The tomahawk and the bow and knife
They took away our native tongue
And taught their English to our young
And all the beads we made by hand
Are nowadays made in Japan
Cherokee people, Cherokee tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE

Oh, if I had a "Hammer", oh that Tom Delay, he and Jew Abramoff, I mean
Jack Abramoff are going to drive me to drink. Hey, I admire the Jew's premise; tricking lndian tribes into giving them over 80 million dollars to "help" them get casinos but then don't go and call them "idiots" and "monkeys", at least not on email. And it's ok for Tommy D. to get comp trips to Scotland et al but not from Abramoff with his casino coin, not while we're selling this faith based bit to the public.
Unless, wait, we combine religion and gambling. Hey, we've used gay marriage
(which the bible doesn't mention), ignored helping the poor (which the bible
mentions, well, only 3,000 times or so), but the ultimate coup de deus would be a divine prayer - sin-synergy; casinos for Christ, blackjack with bibles. We could call it the First Church of Native Nativity; sin, pay and pray, we'll wampum the Dems with these bottom lines. And the people, they'll buy it; look what they've bought so far. And . . . . if they criticize our working with the lnjuns, we'll just call them bigots like we did with Condi and Alberto and that porn- again guy himself, Justice Clarence. (l'm so funny, heh heh).
Karl dozes and (as he has times before) dreams along with the radio.

(TO THE TUNE OF "INDIAN RESERVATION")

We'll use the whole lndian nation
Make them a gambling reservation
We'll rearrange their way of life
The donor bribes, The double life
We'll dupe their greedy naive young
And speak with forked religious tongue
We'll broker buyers of their land
We'll bring in China and Japan
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
Once we've reworked the lndian nation
As a gambling Jesus reservation
They'll play the role in shirt and tie
Mime any prayer, any lie
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
But there are some things none may learn
Whats hidden from our tax returns . . tax returns . . tax returns

Johnny Get Angry

Johnny Get Angry
Performed by Shelley Fabares

Johnny, I said we were through
Just to see what you would do
You stood there and hung your head
Made me wish that I were dead

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Every time you danced with me
You let Freddy cut in constantly
When he'd ask, you'd never speak
Must you always be so meek?

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Every girl wants someone who
She can always look up to
You know I love you, of course
Let me know that you're the boss

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Johnny, get angry, Johnny
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…

From the diary of Swing State Stan

I love the man, and I never thought I would. I mean I was a “Reagan Democrat,” that’s what they called
us anyway and I will vote for Barack (I always liked the nickname Barry) again, no matter what. But he
just takes too much crap from these Teabagger types, as has my 401k, by the way. I know he’s never
been an “angry black man” (doesn’t play well with Independents), but he can be our angry man, can’t
he? Stan’s been listening to the oldie station WPOLL and to Shelley Fabares’ voice he drifted off…

Barry Get Angry

By The Ironix

Barry, now you must come through
With a jobs bill, it’s past due
Don’t stand there and hang your head
And make us feel we voted red.

Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man

Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
If there’s any chance you see
We can’t have cuts constantly
Revenues cannot stay weak
Let the people hear you shriek

Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me

The whole world wants someone who
We can always look up to
Love to have you lead of course
Show this nation you’re the boss.

Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me

Barry dare, really dare for me
Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry…

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Robertson, Robbie

Virgil Caine is the name and I served on the Danville train
‘Til Stoneman’s cavalry came and tore up the tracks again
In the winter of ’65, we were hungry, just barely alive
By May the tenth, Richmond had fell
It’s a time I remember, oh so well

The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the people were singing
They went, “La, la, la”

Back with my wife in Tennessee, when one day she called to me
“Virgil, quick, come see, there go the Robert E. Lee”
Now I don’t mind choppin’ wood, and I don’t care if the money’s no good
Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest
But they should never have taken the very best

From the Diary of H. Windmill, Jr.

Dam’ it’s Tuesday nite deebate ‘n that pizza one is jes still ‘round.
Since I now Hate mundays hope this debate goes better.
Imagine two of them The Enmee agin’ the enmee,
What if that one runs against that one

He drifts off to a background song
harkening the day when the south was trying to win, coulda won, shoulda won….

This Sight Could Bring Ol’ Dixie Down
By The Ironix

Herman Cain is his name conducting the all 9s train
While mainstreams babblery came He kept up his loud refrain
So what if some over 65, Are hungry, just barely alive
Yet Texas Rick Can’t break his spell And all because he just Can’t speak all that well

This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming

They went baa, baa, baa…

Cain started life back in Tennessee, should sure know his place, can’t he see
Don’t mind for now if he’s doin’ good, and don’t care where his fundraisin’ stood
Just make sure that Perry can pass the test, Cause Herman Cain just can’t be our very best.

This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming
They went baa, baa, baa…