These Boots Are Made For Walkin’

Performed by Nancy Sinatra

You keep saying you've got something for me.
something you call love, but confess.
You've been messin' where you shouldn't have been a messin'
and now someone else is gettin' all your best.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha!I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain't HAD time to learn.

Are you ready boots? Start walkin'!

From the diary of Rick Santelli
Gees Louise I make that Tea Party remark just to harass them and discredit Barack Obama and look how far they go. Well, he was in office 32 days before I said it. That’s more than a month. But I didn’t expect they were so wacky and they would actually elect so many of them. And then of all things, they would try and freeze the debt ceiling and play havoc with my stock market. All my Democratic friends keep reminding the S & P goes up when Democrats are in office and down when Republicans are. And when they’re finally proved wrong it’s because of these extreme Congressman, all of whom are Republican. We figured the Tea Party would be mixed and we figured our cover story would be about 15-20% Democrat would hold, but then 100% are nominated from the Republican right. I knew deep down we need some additional revenue but I figured if I claimed we didn’t need any they’d use that as posturing and we’d squeeze it down from there. I didn’t figure they’d take those dumb-ass pledges. Hey, I’m just plain folk, just like Mitt Romney. How can he be a more regular guy, he “loves sport.” He’s folksy, I’m folksy. Look I’m listening to country songs.
(Which is in fact what’s on, listening to Johnny Paycheck when Rick Santelli nods off…)

They keep saying that it’s just their country
That their more important than the rest
We keep guessin’ just how bad they’ll messin’
With all what made American the best

These coots get off by squawking
They have to have their due
One of these days these coots are going to walk all over you

They keep lying
Cause they can’t gain by truthin
If they start loosin
We might just have a bet
They keep gaming to reverse our country’s changing
Far right is far right, and they ain’t made sense yet

These coots get off by squawking
They have to have their due
One of these days these coots are going to walk all over you

They keep saying millionaires shouldn’t be paying
They keep thinking the real folks won’t get burnt
They don’t realize they’re playing with matches
And we’re not sure we have much time left to learn

These coots get off by squawking
They have to have their due
One of these days these coots are going to walk all over you

Send In The Clowns
By Stephen Sondheim

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.

From the Diary of Brian Williams
God, this Republican crew; I know I’m supposed to be even handed and not be the opposite to Fox News, but how do you take these guys with a straight face. Romney can’t figure out if he’s rich with a quarter of a billion dollars. Newt Gingrich is a family value guy with his devoted catholic wife who cheated with him for six years. Ron Paul is there with his message and crazy base. Santorum is gaining round. Everybody says he’s sincere, but sincere about what? I mean, someone should put a tent over this circus. My wife says I use the phrase “you can’t make this up” too much so let me make up a new one “can anyone be this crazy without a tutor”?

Brian drifts off and dreams to the tune of Send In The Clouds…


Mitt’s not sure he’s rich
Newt dumped a pair
Santorum’s gaining much ground
Ron Paul’s still there
They blend in as clowns

Can you believe this?
Who could approve
They keep standing on old ground
Stuff no one can prove
So here are the clowns
They blend in as clowns

Ain’t this some farce
They work on fear
You must want what they want
Or hear their jeers
Here are our clowns
The GOP clowns
The danger is near

They’re all for the rich
They’ll use the queers
But with so many strange debates
There’s only more fears
So do fear the clowns
Beware of the clowns
They’re already here

IT'S HIS TAX SCAM

Taxman (by George Harrison)

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five percent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet

Taxman!

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Don't ask me what I want it for
(Ah, ah, Mr. Wilson)
If you don't want to pay some more
(Ah, ah, Mr. Heath)
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advise for those who die
(Taxman!)
Declare the pennies on your eyes
(Taxman!)

'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one, but me
(Taxman!)


From the Diary of Mitt Romney

Bain was the bane of my existence, and now as I’ve dealt with that suddenly they’re all up in arms over my tax returns. I’m going to give them one full year, not a partial year, a full year, which is within 11 of what my Dad gave. He was wrong…you don’t give people information – they won’t think the worst. I don’t know if I’m rich? They tell me I made over $40 mill in 2010. Is that technically rich? I paid almost 15% taxes and the great news is under the plans of Newt Gingrich in which there’d be zero capital gains, I’d pay no taxes. Should I vote for Newt??
I love this old Beatle’s stuff. See how cool I am.

Mitt fades off in the background – drifts asleep

Let me tell how it will be
More paid by you, 14 by me
It’s my tax scam, ya ya it’s my tax scam
Should 14 appear to small
Be thankful that I pay at all
Cause it’s my tax scam ya-ya, it’s my tax scam

I have gone so far
Any tax I’ll beat
Mitt takes care of Mitt
Life is such a treat
If you’re poor and old
Just turn down the heat
If you balk and squawk
I’m the one to beat

‘Cause it’s my tax scam – yah, yah
It’s my tax scam.

Don’t dare suggest that I should pay more
Thats class warfare by the working poor
My advice is for when you die
You get all blind trusts and dont blink an eye

‘Cause it’s my tax scam – yah, yah
It’s my tax scam.

And it’s for the 1% just like me
I’ve got off shore stuff from sea to sea

THEY HAD NO INDIAN RESERVATIONS

We at Capitol Shleps are impressed by Jack Abramoff’s recent tour to talk about the down side of bribery. For those of you who can’t remember when, he served 3.5 years for basically taking bribes from folks who wanted to stop other people from opening casinos and then from the very same folks who wanted to open new casinos. Nice work if you can get it
but he couldn’t for very long. Interestingly his new tour is called Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington. We at Capitol Shleps always appreciate Capitol Punishment so we are bringing up a song from the past as an ode to Jack Abramoff and thank you Paul Revere and the Raiders.

Indian Reservation
(Performed by Paul Revere and The Raiders)

They took the whole Cherokee Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
The tomahawk and the bow and knife
They took away our native tongue
And taught their English to our young
And all the beads we made by hand
Are nowadays made in Japan
Cherokee people, Cherokee tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE

Oh, if I had a "Hammer", oh that Tom Delay, he and Jew Abramoff, I mean
Jack Abramoff are going to drive me to drink. Hey, I admire the Jew's premise; tricking lndian tribes into giving them over 80 million dollars to "help" them get casinos but then don't go and call them "idiots" and "monkeys", at least not on email. And it's ok for Tommy D. to get comp trips to Scotland et al but not from Abramoff with his casino coin, not while we're selling this faith based bit to the public.
Unless, wait, we combine religion and gambling. Hey, we've used gay marriage
(which the bible doesn't mention), ignored helping the poor (which the bible
mentions, well, only 3,000 times or so), but the ultimate coup de deus would be a divine prayer - sin-synergy; casinos for Christ, blackjack with bibles. We could call it the First Church of Native Nativity; sin, pay and pray, we'll wampum the Dems with these bottom lines. And the people, they'll buy it; look what they've bought so far. And . . . . if they criticize our working with the lnjuns, we'll just call them bigots like we did with Condi and Alberto and that porn- again guy himself, Justice Clarence. (l'm so funny, heh heh).
Karl dozes and (as he has times before) dreams along with the radio.

(TO THE TUNE OF "INDIAN RESERVATION")

We'll use the whole lndian nation
Make them a gambling reservation
We'll rearrange their way of life
The donor bribes, The double life
We'll dupe their greedy naive young
And speak with forked religious tongue
We'll broker buyers of their land
We'll bring in China and Japan
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
Once we've reworked the lndian nation
As a gambling Jesus reservation
They'll play the role in shirt and tie
Mime any prayer, any lie
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
But there are some things none may learn
Whats hidden from our tax returns . . tax returns . . tax returns

Johnny Get Angry

Johnny Get Angry
Performed by Shelley Fabares

Johnny, I said we were through
Just to see what you would do
You stood there and hung your head
Made me wish that I were dead

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Every time you danced with me
You let Freddy cut in constantly
When he'd ask, you'd never speak
Must you always be so meek?

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Every girl wants someone who
She can always look up to
You know I love you, of course
Let me know that you're the boss

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Johnny, get angry, Johnny
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…

From the diary of Swing State Stan

I love the man, and I never thought I would. I mean I was a “Reagan Democrat,” that’s what they called
us anyway and I will vote for Barack (I always liked the nickname Barry) again, no matter what. But he
just takes too much crap from these Teabagger types, as has my 401k, by the way. I know he’s never
been an “angry black man” (doesn’t play well with Independents), but he can be our angry man, can’t
he? Stan’s been listening to the oldie station WPOLL and to Shelley Fabares’ voice he drifted off…

Barry Get Angry

By The Ironix

Barry, now you must come through
With a jobs bill, it’s past due
Don’t stand there and hang your head
And make us feel we voted red.

Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man

Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
If there’s any chance you see
We can’t have cuts constantly
Revenues cannot stay weak
Let the people hear you shriek

Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me

The whole world wants someone who
We can always look up to
Love to have you lead of course
Show this nation you’re the boss.

Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me

Barry dare, really dare for me
Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry…

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Robertson, Robbie

Virgil Caine is the name and I served on the Danville train
‘Til Stoneman’s cavalry came and tore up the tracks again
In the winter of ’65, we were hungry, just barely alive
By May the tenth, Richmond had fell
It’s a time I remember, oh so well

The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the people were singing
They went, “La, la, la”

Back with my wife in Tennessee, when one day she called to me
“Virgil, quick, come see, there go the Robert E. Lee”
Now I don’t mind choppin’ wood, and I don’t care if the money’s no good
Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest
But they should never have taken the very best

From the Diary of H. Windmill, Jr.

Dam’ it’s Tuesday nite deebate ‘n that pizza one is jes still ‘round.
Since I now Hate mundays hope this debate goes better.
Imagine two of them The Enmee agin’ the enmee,
What if that one runs against that one

He drifts off to a background song
harkening the day when the south was trying to win, coulda won, shoulda won….

This Sight Could Bring Ol’ Dixie Down
By The Ironix

Herman Cain is his name conducting the all 9s train
While mainstreams babblery came He kept up his loud refrain
So what if some over 65, Are hungry, just barely alive
Yet Texas Rick Can’t break his spell And all because he just Can’t speak all that well

This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming

They went baa, baa, baa…

Cain started life back in Tennessee, should sure know his place, can’t he see
Don’t mind for now if he’s doin’ good, and don’t care where his fundraisin’ stood
Just make sure that Perry can pass the test, Cause Herman Cain just can’t be our very best.

This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming
They went baa, baa, baa…

AYES FOR THE NEWT

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas (Artist Willson Meredith)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in ev'ry store
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.


From the diary of David Brooks;
I’d say it aloud and I’d say it to myself; Newt Gingrich will imperil conservatism and the Republican party if he runs as the GOP nominee. With three wives, cheating on two of them when they each had cancer, trying to shut down the government while speaker, lobbying (or whatever you call it) to get 1.6 million dollars from Freddie Mac, the list is endless. 50% of America says they won’t vote for him under any circumstances. Sometimes even a political writer has to stop thinking about politics. Brooks was just on the radio station that was playing (what else) Christmas music.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
Every new poll shows he alive and he’s back again
his lead is well over ten
his same old games has got his gang aglow
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
He poo poo’s his lies of yore
so what if he’s had wives three
he says this time he’ll act faithfully
and these days he will stray away no more.
Once a lobbyist in cahoots
he now says the point is moot
and that he won’t work for Fannie Mae again
about his past please don’t talk
his draft dodging way back then
and this time he just can’t wait
so he can stop the government again
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
though his past peers say no
as speaker he wasn’t swell
he’s calm now so you can’t tell
just when that famous temper just might blow

DO CLIMES HAVE TIME?

TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN' (Artist; Bob Dylan)

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

From the diary of the David H. Koch;
I can’t believe it. We groomed the guy, we paid the guy, and hes going to tell us that there actually is climate change? This was supposed to be our scientist, and he says that we are having more extreme weather? Just because we had a dozen billion dollar disasters this year, it could happen any year. Of course, it never did happen any other year, but why? Why couldn’t he just take the money and be vague and obscure? Why did he have to be so factual? My liberal friends (I only have a few) always tease me that facts are known to have a liberal bias. Well I did enjoy that patriotic commercial in the Superbowl with Bob Dylan, oh those old hippies. Koch drifts off to sleep as Mr. Dylans voice comes over the radio...

Come gather around people
the science is known
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept that soon
Shores will be drenched to the bone
If your coastline to you is worth saving
‘Cause you’ll have to start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone
For the climes, they are a changing
Come writers and critics
Its science not zen
And keep your eyes open
The chance won't come again
We must speak out soon
There’s no time for spin
And those who deny must stop gaming
If we’re losers now
we will not later win
For the climes they are a changing
Come Senators and Congressmen
Why so much gall
Don’t let the lobbyists
Pull their great stall 
The Golden state's parched
While its you who has stalled
Where there used to be rain
There's now none at all
For the climes, they are a changing
The winter's more cold
And the spring bakes the land
So don’t criticize
If you wont understand
These new forces of nature
Are beyond your command
Your bridges and roads are now aging
Please get out of the way
If you cant lend a hand
‘Cuz the climes they are a changing
The line it is drawn
Changes come fast
Those slow to adjust
Are consigned to the past
As the present now
will later be past
As our timeline is rapidly fading
And the climes
They are a changing.

THE BAIN OF JOB CREATION

Take This Job And Shove it (by Johnny Paycheck)

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for

You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more

I've been working in this factory
For nigh on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drowning in a pool of tears

And I've seen a lot of good folks die
That had a lot of bills to pay
I'd give the shirt right off my back
If I had the guts to say

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for

You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more

Well that foreman he's a riggity dog
The line boss he's a fool
Got a brand new flattop hair cut
Lord he thinks he's cool

One of these days I'm gonna blow my top
And that sucker he's gonna pay
Lord I can't wait to see their faces
When I get the nerve to say

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for

You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it



From the Diary of Mitt Romney

Vulture Capital- Oh God, Perry probably said that by accident when he meant to say venture capital. Can these folks even write a complete sentence down South. But I’m gonna need their votes so I gotta change that, I gotta change, I gotta have the strength to change. That’s right, make change is strength. That’s what Michael Corleone said I have the strength to change. And this Bain stuff, it’s becoming the bane of my existence. See, I’m funny, I can make a pun, I’m folksy. These folks that are so obsessed about jobs. If you lose a job at a factory you get a job with a Target or Walmart. Hey, a job’s a job. Hey, I don’t even know if I’m rich. And now I gotta release my tax returns? Maybe I should – it will just show how I was inhibited from creating jobs. But wait, I was supposed to have created them. Gotta change, have the strength to change. No matter what I had to do with jobs that was my job. How about the job I created for myself and all the managers, and all the tailors, and all the secretaries, and all the people who took care of my lawn. I wouldn’t have illegals, I was running for office for Pete’s sake. That said, Mitt drifts off into sleep. He’s turned the station to a country song to work on his “just plain folk,” self mumbling I’m gonna need them southern evangelical votes. (And as he thinks of all the great paychecks he’s gotten in the background comes the voice again of Johnny Paycheck.) I love the country folk, they really speak to me and as he drifts off to sleep, they do again.



Mitt Took Your Job And Shoved It

Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.

Well some been in this factory
For many, many years
But it’s Bain time, we’re in charge,
The sum of all your fears
Well I’ve seen them so called good folks die, with their health bills in the way
But we’ll take the shirt right off your back
‘Cause pink slips make my pay

Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.

The Mitt man says you’re all just cogs
He’s the hard line boss and you’re the fools
Got a brand new helmet haircut with all that MBA cool
So Bain ways are to blow things up
Fleecing all you suckers
It’s how we make our pay
I can’t wait to see your faces
It’s the order of the day.

Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.