We at Capitol Shleps are impressed by Jack Abramoff’s recent tour to talk about the down side of bribery. For those of you who can’t remember when, he served 3.5 years for basically taking bribes from folks who wanted to stop other people from opening casinos and then from the very same folks who wanted to open new casinos. Nice work if you can get it
but he couldn’t for very long. Interestingly his new tour is called Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington. We at Capitol Shleps always appreciate Capitol Punishment so we are bringing up a song from the past as an ode to Jack Abramoff and thank you Paul Revere and the Raiders.
Indian Reservation
(Performed by Paul Revere and The Raiders)
They took the whole Cherokee Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
The tomahawk and the bow and knife
They took away our native tongue
And taught their English to our young
And all the beads we made by hand
Are nowadays made in Japan
Cherokee people, Cherokee tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die
FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE
Oh, if I had a "Hammer", oh that Tom Delay, he and Jew Abramoff, I mean
Jack Abramoff are going to drive me to drink. Hey, I admire the Jew's premise; tricking lndian tribes into giving them over 80 million dollars to "help" them get casinos but then don't go and call them "idiots" and "monkeys", at least not on email. And it's ok for Tommy D. to get comp trips to Scotland et al but not from Abramoff with his casino coin, not while we're selling this faith based bit to the public.
Unless, wait, we combine religion and gambling. Hey, we've used gay marriage
(which the bible doesn't mention), ignored helping the poor (which the bible
mentions, well, only 3,000 times or so), but the ultimate coup de deus would be a divine prayer - sin-synergy; casinos for Christ, blackjack with bibles. We could call it the First Church of Native Nativity; sin, pay and pray, we'll wampum the Dems with these bottom lines. And the people, they'll buy it; look what they've bought so far. And . . . . if they criticize our working with the lnjuns, we'll just call them bigots like we did with Condi and Alberto and that porn- again guy himself, Justice Clarence. (l'm so funny, heh heh).
Karl dozes and (as he has times before) dreams along with the radio.
(TO THE TUNE OF "INDIAN RESERVATION")
We'll use the whole lndian nation
Make them a gambling reservation
We'll rearrange their way of life
The donor bribes, The double life
We'll dupe their greedy naive young
And speak with forked religious tongue
We'll broker buyers of their land
We'll bring in China and Japan
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
Once we've reworked the lndian nation
As a gambling Jesus reservation
They'll play the role in shirt and tie
Mime any prayer, any lie
With gambling people
And gambling tribes
We'll live off cards
We'll live off die
But there are some things none may learn
Whats hidden from our tax returns . . tax returns . . tax returns
Friday, February 10, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Johnny Get Angry
Johnny Get Angry
Performed by Shelley Fabares
Johnny, I said we were through
Just to see what you would do
You stood there and hung your head
Made me wish that I were dead
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
Every time you danced with me
You let Freddy cut in constantly
When he'd ask, you'd never speak
Must you always be so meek?
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
Every girl wants someone who
She can always look up to
You know I love you, of course
Let me know that you're the boss
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
Johnny, get angry, Johnny
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…
From the diary of Swing State Stan
I love the man, and I never thought I would. I mean I was a “Reagan Democrat,” that’s what they called
us anyway and I will vote for Barack (I always liked the nickname Barry) again, no matter what. But he
just takes too much crap from these Teabagger types, as has my 401k, by the way. I know he’s never
been an “angry black man” (doesn’t play well with Independents), but he can be our angry man, can’t
he? Stan’s been listening to the oldie station WPOLL and to Shelley Fabares’ voice he drifted off…
Barry Get Angry
By The Ironix
Barry, now you must come through
With a jobs bill, it’s past due
Don’t stand there and hang your head
And make us feel we voted red.
Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
If there’s any chance you see
We can’t have cuts constantly
Revenues cannot stay weak
Let the people hear you shriek
Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
The whole world wants someone who
We can always look up to
Love to have you lead of course
Show this nation you’re the boss.
Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
Barry dare, really dare for me
Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry…
Performed by Shelley Fabares
Johnny, I said we were through
Just to see what you would do
You stood there and hung your head
Made me wish that I were dead
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
Every time you danced with me
You let Freddy cut in constantly
When he'd ask, you'd never speak
Must you always be so meek?
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
Every girl wants someone who
She can always look up to
You know I love you, of course
Let me know that you're the boss
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me
Johnny, get angry, Johnny
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…
From the diary of Swing State Stan
I love the man, and I never thought I would. I mean I was a “Reagan Democrat,” that’s what they called
us anyway and I will vote for Barack (I always liked the nickname Barry) again, no matter what. But he
just takes too much crap from these Teabagger types, as has my 401k, by the way. I know he’s never
been an “angry black man” (doesn’t play well with Independents), but he can be our angry man, can’t
he? Stan’s been listening to the oldie station WPOLL and to Shelley Fabares’ voice he drifted off…
Barry Get Angry
By The Ironix
Barry, now you must come through
With a jobs bill, it’s past due
Don’t stand there and hang your head
And make us feel we voted red.
Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
If there’s any chance you see
We can’t have cuts constantly
Revenues cannot stay weak
Let the people hear you shriek
Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
The whole world wants someone who
We can always look up to
Love to have you lead of course
Show this nation you’re the boss.
Oh Barry, get angry
Barry, get mad
Don’t need a lecture that we’ve already had
We want a brave man, Oh don’t you cave man
Barry, show me that we that you’ll dare, really dare for me
Barry dare, really dare for me
Barry, Barry, Barry, Barry…
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Robertson, Robbie
Virgil Caine is the name and I served on the Danville train
‘Til Stoneman’s cavalry came and tore up the tracks again
In the winter of ’65, we were hungry, just barely alive
By May the tenth, Richmond had fell
It’s a time I remember, oh so well
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the people were singing
They went, “La, la, la”
Back with my wife in Tennessee, when one day she called to me
“Virgil, quick, come see, there go the Robert E. Lee”
Now I don’t mind choppin’ wood, and I don’t care if the money’s no good
Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest
But they should never have taken the very best
From the Diary of H. Windmill, Jr.
Dam’ it’s Tuesday nite deebate ‘n that pizza one is jes still ‘round.
Since I now Hate mundays hope this debate goes better.
Imagine two of them The Enmee agin’ the enmee,
What if that one runs against that one
He drifts off to a background song
harkening the day when the south was trying to win, coulda won, shoulda won….
This Sight Could Bring Ol’ Dixie Down
By The Ironix
Herman Cain is his name conducting the all 9s train
While mainstreams babblery came He kept up his loud refrain
So what if some over 65, Are hungry, just barely alive
Yet Texas Rick Can’t break his spell And all because he just Can’t speak all that well
This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming
They went baa, baa, baa…
Cain started life back in Tennessee, should sure know his place, can’t he see
Don’t mind for now if he’s doin’ good, and don’t care where his fundraisin’ stood
Just make sure that Perry can pass the test, Cause Herman Cain just can’t be our very best.
This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming
They went baa, baa, baa…
Robertson, Robbie
Virgil Caine is the name and I served on the Danville train
‘Til Stoneman’s cavalry came and tore up the tracks again
In the winter of ’65, we were hungry, just barely alive
By May the tenth, Richmond had fell
It’s a time I remember, oh so well
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the people were singing
They went, “La, la, la”
Back with my wife in Tennessee, when one day she called to me
“Virgil, quick, come see, there go the Robert E. Lee”
Now I don’t mind choppin’ wood, and I don’t care if the money’s no good
Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest
But they should never have taken the very best
From the Diary of H. Windmill, Jr.
Dam’ it’s Tuesday nite deebate ‘n that pizza one is jes still ‘round.
Since I now Hate mundays hope this debate goes better.
Imagine two of them The Enmee agin’ the enmee,
What if that one runs against that one
He drifts off to a background song
harkening the day when the south was trying to win, coulda won, shoulda won….
This Sight Could Bring Ol’ Dixie Down
By The Ironix
Herman Cain is his name conducting the all 9s train
While mainstreams babblery came He kept up his loud refrain
So what if some over 65, Are hungry, just barely alive
Yet Texas Rick Can’t break his spell And all because he just Can’t speak all that well
This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming
They went baa, baa, baa…
Cain started life back in Tennessee, should sure know his place, can’t he see
Don’t mind for now if he’s doin’ good, and don’t care where his fundraisin’ stood
Just make sure that Perry can pass the test, Cause Herman Cain just can’t be our very best.
This sight could bring ol’ Dixie down
What if there’s two blacks a runnin’
A blight to make the ol’ boys frown
Is a third party coming
They went baa, baa, baa…
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
AYES FOR THE NEWT
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas (Artist Willson Meredith)
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in ev'ry store
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door.
A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.
From the diary of David Brooks;
I’d say it aloud and I’d say it to myself; Newt Gingrich will imperil conservatism and the Republican party if he runs as the GOP nominee. With three wives, cheating on two of them when they each had cancer, trying to shut down the government while speaker, lobbying (or whatever you call it) to get 1.6 million dollars from Freddie Mac, the list is endless. 50% of America says they won’t vote for him under any circumstances. Sometimes even a political writer has to stop thinking about politics. Brooks was just on the radio station that was playing (what else) Christmas music.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
Every new poll shows he alive and he’s back again
his lead is well over ten
his same old games has got his gang aglow
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
He poo poo’s his lies of yore
so what if he’s had wives three
he says this time he’ll act faithfully
and these days he will stray away no more.
Once a lobbyist in cahoots
he now says the point is moot
and that he won’t work for Fannie Mae again
about his past please don’t talk
his draft dodging way back then
and this time he just can’t wait
so he can stop the government again
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
though his past peers say no
as speaker he wasn’t swell
he’s calm now so you can’t tell
just when that famous temper just might blow
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in ev'ry store
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door.
A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.
From the diary of David Brooks;
I’d say it aloud and I’d say it to myself; Newt Gingrich will imperil conservatism and the Republican party if he runs as the GOP nominee. With three wives, cheating on two of them when they each had cancer, trying to shut down the government while speaker, lobbying (or whatever you call it) to get 1.6 million dollars from Freddie Mac, the list is endless. 50% of America says they won’t vote for him under any circumstances. Sometimes even a political writer has to stop thinking about politics. Brooks was just on the radio station that was playing (what else) Christmas music.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
Every new poll shows he alive and he’s back again
his lead is well over ten
his same old games has got his gang aglow
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
He poo poo’s his lies of yore
so what if he’s had wives three
he says this time he’ll act faithfully
and these days he will stray away no more.
Once a lobbyist in cahoots
he now says the point is moot
and that he won’t work for Fannie Mae again
about his past please don’t talk
his draft dodging way back then
and this time he just can’t wait
so he can stop the government again
It’s beginning to look a lot like Gingrich
though his past peers say no
as speaker he wasn’t swell
he’s calm now so you can’t tell
just when that famous temper just might blow
DO CLIMES HAVE TIME?
TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN' (Artist; Bob Dylan)
Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
From the diary of the David H. Koch;
I can’t believe it. We groomed the guy, we paid the guy, and hes going to tell us that there actually is climate change? This was supposed to be our scientist, and he says that we are having more extreme weather? Just because we had a dozen billion dollar disasters this year, it could happen any year. Of course, it never did happen any other year, but why? Why couldn’t he just take the money and be vague and obscure? Why did he have to be so factual? My liberal friends (I only have a few) always tease me that facts are known to have a liberal bias. Well I did enjoy that patriotic commercial in the Superbowl with Bob Dylan, oh those old hippies. Koch drifts off to sleep as Mr. Dylans voice comes over the radio...
Come gather around people
the science is known
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept that soon
Shores will be drenched to the bone
If your coastline to you is worth saving
‘Cause you’ll have to start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone
For the climes, they are a changing
Come writers and critics
Its science not zen
And keep your eyes open
The chance won't come again
We must speak out soon
There’s no time for spin
And those who deny must stop gaming
If we’re losers now
we will not later win
For the climes they are a changing
Come Senators and Congressmen
Why so much gall
Don’t let the lobbyists
Pull their great stall
The Golden state's parched
While its you who has stalled
Where there used to be rain
There's now none at all
For the climes, they are a changing
The winter's more cold
And the spring bakes the land
So don’t criticize
If you wont understand
These new forces of nature
Are beyond your command
Your bridges and roads are now aging
Please get out of the way
If you cant lend a hand
‘Cuz the climes they are a changing
The line it is drawn
Changes come fast
Those slow to adjust
Are consigned to the past
As the present now
will later be past
As our timeline is rapidly fading
And the climes
They are a changing.
Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
From the diary of the David H. Koch;
I can’t believe it. We groomed the guy, we paid the guy, and hes going to tell us that there actually is climate change? This was supposed to be our scientist, and he says that we are having more extreme weather? Just because we had a dozen billion dollar disasters this year, it could happen any year. Of course, it never did happen any other year, but why? Why couldn’t he just take the money and be vague and obscure? Why did he have to be so factual? My liberal friends (I only have a few) always tease me that facts are known to have a liberal bias. Well I did enjoy that patriotic commercial in the Superbowl with Bob Dylan, oh those old hippies. Koch drifts off to sleep as Mr. Dylans voice comes over the radio...
Come gather around people
the science is known
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept that soon
Shores will be drenched to the bone
If your coastline to you is worth saving
‘Cause you’ll have to start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone
For the climes, they are a changing
Come writers and critics
Its science not zen
And keep your eyes open
The chance won't come again
We must speak out soon
There’s no time for spin
And those who deny must stop gaming
If we’re losers now
we will not later win
For the climes they are a changing
Come Senators and Congressmen
Why so much gall
Don’t let the lobbyists
Pull their great stall
The Golden state's parched
While its you who has stalled
Where there used to be rain
There's now none at all
For the climes, they are a changing
The winter's more cold
And the spring bakes the land
So don’t criticize
If you wont understand
These new forces of nature
Are beyond your command
Your bridges and roads are now aging
Please get out of the way
If you cant lend a hand
‘Cuz the climes they are a changing
The line it is drawn
Changes come fast
Those slow to adjust
Are consigned to the past
As the present now
will later be past
As our timeline is rapidly fading
And the climes
They are a changing.
Friday, January 20, 2012
THE BAIN OF JOB CREATION
Take This Job And Shove it (by Johnny Paycheck)
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
I've been working in this factory
For nigh on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drowning in a pool of tears
And I've seen a lot of good folks die
That had a lot of bills to pay
I'd give the shirt right off my back
If I had the guts to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Well that foreman he's a riggity dog
The line boss he's a fool
Got a brand new flattop hair cut
Lord he thinks he's cool
One of these days I'm gonna blow my top
And that sucker he's gonna pay
Lord I can't wait to see their faces
When I get the nerve to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
From the Diary of Mitt Romney
Vulture Capital- Oh God, Perry probably said that by accident when he meant to say venture capital. Can these folks even write a complete sentence down South. But I’m gonna need their votes so I gotta change that, I gotta change, I gotta have the strength to change. That’s right, make change is strength. That’s what Michael Corleone said I have the strength to change. And this Bain stuff, it’s becoming the bane of my existence. See, I’m funny, I can make a pun, I’m folksy. These folks that are so obsessed about jobs. If you lose a job at a factory you get a job with a Target or Walmart. Hey, a job’s a job. Hey, I don’t even know if I’m rich. And now I gotta release my tax returns? Maybe I should – it will just show how I was inhibited from creating jobs. But wait, I was supposed to have created them. Gotta change, have the strength to change. No matter what I had to do with jobs that was my job. How about the job I created for myself and all the managers, and all the tailors, and all the secretaries, and all the people who took care of my lawn. I wouldn’t have illegals, I was running for office for Pete’s sake. That said, Mitt drifts off into sleep. He’s turned the station to a country song to work on his “just plain folk,” self mumbling I’m gonna need them southern evangelical votes. (And as he thinks of all the great paychecks he’s gotten in the background comes the voice again of Johnny Paycheck.) I love the country folk, they really speak to me and as he drifts off to sleep, they do again.
Mitt Took Your Job And Shoved It
Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.
Well some been in this factory
For many, many years
But it’s Bain time, we’re in charge,
The sum of all your fears
Well I’ve seen them so called good folks die, with their health bills in the way
But we’ll take the shirt right off your back
‘Cause pink slips make my pay
Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.
The Mitt man says you’re all just cogs
He’s the hard line boss and you’re the fools
Got a brand new helmet haircut with all that MBA cool
So Bain ways are to blow things up
Fleecing all you suckers
It’s how we make our pay
I can’t wait to see your faces
It’s the order of the day.
Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
I've been working in this factory
For nigh on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drowning in a pool of tears
And I've seen a lot of good folks die
That had a lot of bills to pay
I'd give the shirt right off my back
If I had the guts to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Well that foreman he's a riggity dog
The line boss he's a fool
Got a brand new flattop hair cut
Lord he thinks he's cool
One of these days I'm gonna blow my top
And that sucker he's gonna pay
Lord I can't wait to see their faces
When I get the nerve to say
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left
And took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As I'm walking out the door
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
Take this job and shove it
From the Diary of Mitt Romney
Vulture Capital- Oh God, Perry probably said that by accident when he meant to say venture capital. Can these folks even write a complete sentence down South. But I’m gonna need their votes so I gotta change that, I gotta change, I gotta have the strength to change. That’s right, make change is strength. That’s what Michael Corleone said I have the strength to change. And this Bain stuff, it’s becoming the bane of my existence. See, I’m funny, I can make a pun, I’m folksy. These folks that are so obsessed about jobs. If you lose a job at a factory you get a job with a Target or Walmart. Hey, a job’s a job. Hey, I don’t even know if I’m rich. And now I gotta release my tax returns? Maybe I should – it will just show how I was inhibited from creating jobs. But wait, I was supposed to have created them. Gotta change, have the strength to change. No matter what I had to do with jobs that was my job. How about the job I created for myself and all the managers, and all the tailors, and all the secretaries, and all the people who took care of my lawn. I wouldn’t have illegals, I was running for office for Pete’s sake. That said, Mitt drifts off into sleep. He’s turned the station to a country song to work on his “just plain folk,” self mumbling I’m gonna need them southern evangelical votes. (And as he thinks of all the great paychecks he’s gotten in the background comes the voice again of Johnny Paycheck.) I love the country folk, they really speak to me and as he drifts off to sleep, they do again.
Mitt Took Your Job And Shoved It
Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.
Well some been in this factory
For many, many years
But it’s Bain time, we’re in charge,
The sum of all your fears
Well I’ve seen them so called good folks die, with their health bills in the way
But we’ll take the shirt right off your back
‘Cause pink slips make my pay
Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.
The Mitt man says you’re all just cogs
He’s the hard line boss and you’re the fools
Got a brand new helmet haircut with all that MBA cool
So Bain ways are to blow things up
Fleecing all you suckers
It’s how we make our pay
I can’t wait to see your faces
It’s the order of the day.
Mitt took your job and shoved it
You ain’t workin’ here no more
So go to work for Target
And be the workin’ poor
Don’t even think you can stay
‘Cause we’re closin’ up the doors.
Friday, December 2, 2011
THEY KNEW HOW TO KEEP THEIR COVER
50 Ways To Keep Your Cover
By Norman L Bender
[From the lyrics and tune of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”
The problem is all inside your head, she said to me,
The answer is easy if you take it logically,
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free,
There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.
She said, it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be misconstrued,
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being rude,
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover,
Fifty ways to leave your lover.]
From the Diary of Karl Rove 2005
“I’ve seen tension in Dub. No WMDs, no terrorists (well when we started) in Iraq, Social Security is
stalling, me and Joseph Wilson and Valerie always in the news, and they say our tax cuts have caused the
worst budget deficit in history. He needs a pep talk, we got to give him cover and stay on message.”
As Karl dozes, he remembers thinking: cover the boss’ back, and hears again the name of Paul Simon.
Hey, he’s dead; he can’t run for the Senate, that’s how Ashcroft lost. He stands and sings before the
president:
The problems are inside the liberals head I’ll make you see,
The answer is so easy if we take it logically,
The whole point of this strategy is we must be blame free,
There must be fifty ways to keep our cover.
I know you hate reporters that peskily intrude,
You always stay on message so you won’t be misconstrued,
You certainly repeat yourself so if they question, they are rude,
There must be fifty ways to keep our cover
Pick some folks to attack, Jack,
Get a privatized plan, Stan,
Make it fir or agin, Ken,
Just keep us blame free.
Cut the richest folk’s tax, Dax,
Use the color code red, Ned,
Seek new funds for Iraq, Zack,
Just keep us blame free.
Oh Dub, it grieves me so to see you in such pain,
Wish there were new threats we could utilize for gain,
I know you’d ditto that so I’ll again explain,
About the fifty ways.
Resist the stem cell, Dell,
Force all people to pray, Ray
Coerce all to agree, Lee
Just keep us blame free.
Make dissenters conform, Norm,
Don’t give them their say, Jay
Keep reporters in jail, Hale
And keep us blame free.
The Diary: Fall 2006
Our cover’s blown. The opposition may actually gain in the election. It’s the press’ fault, of course, with
all those anti-administration facts on WMDs, that liberator thing (well, we were greeted, just not that
way), and 9/11 (NOT) due to Saddam, but I still love saying it – 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 – it still can work – we
keep calling them cut and runners; (they won’t be clever enough to call us slog and bleeders) and fear,
more fear, fear. The only governing is getting elected so we must accentuate the negative because that
is our positive: and to any of our candidates who don’t agree – no RNC bucks.
Karl again dreams:
Swift boat Democrats vets, Chet,
That works well we’ve all seen,
Demand negative ads, Thad,
Or we’ll send them no green,
Cause they need RNC bucks, Chuck,
To control TV screens.
Bait the cut and run Dems, Clem
And we’ll be home free,
Give them all a good fright, Dwight,
Cause we got to divide, Clyde.
And we’ll get 50 states to run for cover.
Absorb the plan of attack, Zack
Emphasize Bush is at war, Thor,
And surely they’ll see,
Deny state of denial, Lyle,
And keep us blame free.
Get the racist ad on, Ron,
When you’re in a close race, Chase,
But say you didn’t know, Joe,
And keep us blame free.
But…they still might win the day, Clay,
So plan what records to shred, Fred,
And that’s just one more time we’ll keep our cover.
By Norman L Bender
[From the lyrics and tune of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”
The problem is all inside your head, she said to me,
The answer is easy if you take it logically,
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free,
There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.
She said, it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be misconstrued,
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being rude,
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover,
Fifty ways to leave your lover.]
From the Diary of Karl Rove 2005
“I’ve seen tension in Dub. No WMDs, no terrorists (well when we started) in Iraq, Social Security is
stalling, me and Joseph Wilson and Valerie always in the news, and they say our tax cuts have caused the
worst budget deficit in history. He needs a pep talk, we got to give him cover and stay on message.”
As Karl dozes, he remembers thinking: cover the boss’ back, and hears again the name of Paul Simon.
Hey, he’s dead; he can’t run for the Senate, that’s how Ashcroft lost. He stands and sings before the
president:
The problems are inside the liberals head I’ll make you see,
The answer is so easy if we take it logically,
The whole point of this strategy is we must be blame free,
There must be fifty ways to keep our cover.
I know you hate reporters that peskily intrude,
You always stay on message so you won’t be misconstrued,
You certainly repeat yourself so if they question, they are rude,
There must be fifty ways to keep our cover
Pick some folks to attack, Jack,
Get a privatized plan, Stan,
Make it fir or agin, Ken,
Just keep us blame free.
Cut the richest folk’s tax, Dax,
Use the color code red, Ned,
Seek new funds for Iraq, Zack,
Just keep us blame free.
Oh Dub, it grieves me so to see you in such pain,
Wish there were new threats we could utilize for gain,
I know you’d ditto that so I’ll again explain,
About the fifty ways.
Resist the stem cell, Dell,
Force all people to pray, Ray
Coerce all to agree, Lee
Just keep us blame free.
Make dissenters conform, Norm,
Don’t give them their say, Jay
Keep reporters in jail, Hale
And keep us blame free.
The Diary: Fall 2006
Our cover’s blown. The opposition may actually gain in the election. It’s the press’ fault, of course, with
all those anti-administration facts on WMDs, that liberator thing (well, we were greeted, just not that
way), and 9/11 (NOT) due to Saddam, but I still love saying it – 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 – it still can work – we
keep calling them cut and runners; (they won’t be clever enough to call us slog and bleeders) and fear,
more fear, fear. The only governing is getting elected so we must accentuate the negative because that
is our positive: and to any of our candidates who don’t agree – no RNC bucks.
Karl again dreams:
Swift boat Democrats vets, Chet,
That works well we’ve all seen,
Demand negative ads, Thad,
Or we’ll send them no green,
Cause they need RNC bucks, Chuck,
To control TV screens.
Bait the cut and run Dems, Clem
And we’ll be home free,
Give them all a good fright, Dwight,
Cause we got to divide, Clyde.
And we’ll get 50 states to run for cover.
Absorb the plan of attack, Zack
Emphasize Bush is at war, Thor,
And surely they’ll see,
Deny state of denial, Lyle,
And keep us blame free.
Get the racist ad on, Ron,
When you’re in a close race, Chase,
But say you didn’t know, Joe,
And keep us blame free.
But…they still might win the day, Clay,
So plan what records to shred, Fred,
And that’s just one more time we’ll keep our cover.
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